MeteorFreaks.com Celebrity Sleaze, Free Porn, Tasteless Jokes, and Various Other Cures for Boredom

One of the things that always manages to annoy me is the holier than thou douchebags that would have you believe they would never fuck a particular famous whore, simply because she is just that, a famous whore. I’m talking about this guy…”I would never fuck (insert famous promiscuous female here), she is such a skank!” Are you fucking kidding me? We should be expected to believe that Joe Blow from the internet, that can’t get the time of day from the fat slob, toothless trailer park slime that is passed out in her own puke at the end of the bar, is going to turn down Lindsay Fucking Lohan, just because she gets around?

News flash people…IF Lindsay Lohan gets so fucked up on booze and blow that she loses her mind and offers you the chance to fuck her, you will most likely blow your load in your pants before she even gets the words out of her mouth. I know I just blew a load in mine imagining the possibility. Why is it so tough for people to be honest anymore? I’m not saying Lindsay Lohan is the most beautiful girl in the world, in fact far from it. I’m just saying she is a rich, hot, famous chick, and I see most guys at the local bar making fools of themselves over much less on a nightly basis. Shit, by 2 AM I’m at the end of the bar wiping off trailer park slime’s puke from her face and telling her how sexy she is, just so I won’t have to jerk off for the tenth night in a row.

The moral to this story is we like to bash celebrities because it makes us feel better about our own pathetic lives. Well I’m here to tell you there is nothing wrong with being pathetic. I accept the fact that I will never get to fuck Lindsay Lohan, but that is not going to stop me from drooling over the thought of her in a g string doing blow off my coffee table. Until Hell freezes over and that day arrives, I guess I’ll have to settle for these…ahem…”accidental” side boob, nipple slip pictures.